allaroundme

Speak, See and Be... How many days do we start out with a weary, negative thought toward the new day, when it holds so much new opportunity for us.  Often, we jump into our daily routine and comfort zones when we should be thinking and speaking what kind of day and person we want to be.  I start my days thanking God for the day and then speak the day I want.  Below is a list of daily confessions I borrowed from a great teacher from Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC.  I believe so many need the simplicity of the words below and as you pray and speak these over yourselves may your life be transformed into all God has purposed for you.  Sow these words into your life, your children’s lives and friends and family members.  Speak, see and be.

I am fully forgiven and free from all shame and condemnation

I act in audacious faith to change the world in my generation

I have no fear or anxiety I trust in the Lord with all my heart

I am fully funded to do everything God has called me to do

 I am able to fulfill the calling God has placed on my life

I have no insecurity because I see myself the way God sees me

I am a faithful spouse and a godly parent; our family is blessed

I am completely whole physically, mentally and emotionally

I am increasing in influence and favor for the kingdom of God

I am enabled to walk in the sacrificial love of Christ

I have the wisdom of the Lord concerning every decision I make

I am protected from all harm and evil in Jesus name

Making Hard Decisions for a Great Lifetime – Beginning steps

With what is happening in our world and economy nowadays, many of us are forced to make hard decisions.  Many without jobs are forced to make the decision to leave friends and family to find work hundreds of miles away or stay without a job.  Others are making the decision between bills and food, while others are making decisions to make major purchases, or where to invest.  Decisions can make or break our futures and yet so many take little time to look at making solid decisions that will lead to great futures.

1.What’s important to you?

We all make decisions based on what’s important to us. Essentially what’s important to us is based on what we value in life.  If you want to see what is important to someone just watch the decisions they make on a daily, yearly basis and see the fruit of it played out in their lives.  Where are you today?  What decisions are you making right now in your life?  Are these decisions forced on you because of poor decisions earlier in life?  You are where you are today, in your position, in your location, in your frame of mind because of all the decisions you have made in the past that have led you to this point.

2. What do you value in life?

Every decision you’ve made was made with a set of “values”.  We all assign value or a rating to everything in life.  Money, family, relationships, work, status, morality, appearance, ego, comfort, all, play a role in how you live and make decisions every day.  What you value is very evident by where you are in your life right now.  If your marriage, job, and kids are a mess you likely have valued something or someone else before them and are seeing the fruit of that decision.  But it’s never too late to make changes in what you value and set your course for decision making on the right track.

3. What kind of attitude do you live by?

Every day, I get up and decide how I will live the day.  Do you wake up bored, anxious, dreading work?  Do you wake up excited, looking forward to the day?  Whether you’re an entrepreneur or an employee or even a domestic CEO, you decide if you’re going to work, what type of attitude you will go with, and how hard or not you will work.  Those three decisions decide much of our future.  All made every day, within 1-2 hours of getting up.  They decide if you and your family will be provided for and will be successful.  They decide if you will get fired, demoted or grow stagnant, if your family will go without, if you will improve your life or cause downfall and decline.  Choose a good attitude daily and work hard. This decision of a good attitude requires effort, perseverance and some days, determination.

4. Easy, feel good decisions or hard, persevering decisions?

It’s easy to NOT go to work when I don’t feel like it and that’s for those who work at home raising families and those who leave home to help provide.  It’s easy to join the complainers and find something to be mad or sad about.  It’s easy to not work hard and slack off.  Easy, do what I feel like decisions will always ease you into lack, poverty, stress, hardship and failure.   The easy decisions led by our personal comfort and emotions always lead to hard, gut wrenching decisions in the end.  A friend of mine’s relative decided they couldn’t deal with the stress of their job everyday anymore, but instead of looking for counseling and another job they just quit, with no plan for their future and now they’re facing eviction and bill collectors.  When you make decisions based on the best course of action for your future and your family’s future they will require work, determination, perseverance, and patience.  Stop letting your emotions run your life.

5. Patience is a virtue and pays in the end

Patience can make us a better person if we let it. The definition of the word is to tolerate delay implying self-control and forbearance.  The key is it requires self-control over your emotions.  It simply means you don’t get what you want when you want it, which for most people is now.  You may want a different job, or a new car now but reality is, it will take time.  It’s easier to find a job when you have one than when you don’t.   Saving toward purchase of a new car takes time, but keeps you out of debt or gives you a lesser load of debt and responsibility and less stress.  Learn patience, learn to wait calmly, patiently and with determination of the goal in sight.

6. Keep speaking the positive outcome

Use words that speak to the end result.  Force the daily bombardment of wrong thoughts out of your head and replace them with good. I daily speak scripture over my family and my home because I seek the good, positive, prosperous end result for me and my family and I will diligently pursue it in word until I see it come to fruition.  I am living the result now of my past words and it’s VERY good.

In the end, making hard decisions now and consistently, leads to a great future later.

I think my age is an age of discernment. I’m 40 and the vigor, focus, determination, drive, persistence, ego and self esteem of my 20′s has dilapidated as I’ve weathered struggles, challenges and life.  However, the wisdom, patience and compassion I’ve gained feels more vulnerable, but at the same time more fulfilling.  I challenge myself to come back to the feeling of invincibility that I can do anything, but possibly that was removed for a greater purpose.  Instead of driving forward with a mission I stop and take the time for others that I would have previously left behind. I daily face the challenge of how can my life mean more to those around me than to just earn a paycheck. 

I once thought the only way to make a difference was to work for a non profit organization but now realize we’re all in the places we are for a reason.  It maybe for one person or many or to help change the environment in an organization.  Whatever the reason, find happiness where you are, work toward where you want to be, who you want to be and enjoy the time getting there.  I’m sometimes so focused on where I’m going that I miss the small interactions and joys that came up during the trip.  Peace is found every step of the way.  It is a thought, a mindset, a smile for someone, an encouraging word, a song sung, or a hug for a friend. It’s amazing what a purposefully lived day, with an agenda of kindness or compassion toward others can do for you and the environment your in.  Make a difference where you are today, and find contentment with small acts and steps toward your bigger purpose.  Happy Monday – it’s going to be a great, inspiring, focused, uplifting, prosperous, successful week!

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged because I’m overwhelmed with everything there is to do in life and work.  And as I continually pare down and get to the root of why things feel burdensome, I love what I just received from the pastor of my church. I’m passing this on because with the whirlwind of life that seems to be my norm and many others its the ONE thing I keep at the forefront of my mind and we all should because at the end of the day and life your relationships are what matters most… Enjoy!

This week I’m going to keep this shorter and straight to the point.  I’m having a very busy week; I’m sure many of you are too!  Here’s something that I recently heard, and I’ve been chewing on it since.  In fact, it’s been helping me keep my bearings relationally as I go through this whirlwind of a week.  I hope it’ll help you too.

John Maxwell is a former pastor and currently one of the world’s leading authorities on leadership.  I’ve heard him speak many times through the years, but I heard him say something about a month ago that has stuck with me.  He said, “You are a + (plus) or – (minus) in everyone’s life you come into contact with!”  

Think about that . . . What he’s saying is that you either add to or take away from everyone with whom you have personal interaction.  You either add value or take it away.  You either make them better or leave them feeling worse.  You either encourage or discourage.  You are either building them up or tearing them down.  You leave every person you come into contact with different . . . So which is it for you?

Think about this in regards to your spouse, kids, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and even complete strangers you meet.  It matters because people do!

I’ve gained much from Francis Roberts book, “Come Away My Beloved”, over the previous months.   With the turmoil in the world today, being ready to receive opportunities or being open to “seeing” opportunities God brings across our path is important.  While we all feel hesitant because of inadequacy or unpreparedness, I’m changing my mindset that it is a better way to step out in faith in a new opportunity, business or adventure because we have to rely less on our own wisdom and lean more on God.  Here’s an excerpt from the book regarding seizing opportunities…

Behold, as the lilies of the field, and as the grass, so your life is but for a season.  Yes, though you flourish in health, yet your time is short.  You have no sure promise of tomorrow.  Therefore live each day as though it were your last.  Seize each opportunity, knowing that it may be the last.

For it is certainly true that no situation presents itself twice the same.  The opportunities of today are not those of tomorrow.  Do not live as though they might be repeated.  Do not fail to enter every open door, or be held back by a feeling of unreadiness.  I (God) Myself am your preparation.

I will give you the needed grace and wisdom for each moment as it comes, and you will rejoice in the victory.  For I will overcome timidity, and I Myself will displace inadequacy. This is My work.  I will do it Myself through you if you allow yourself to be a channel for the flow of My Spirit.

I Myself am the life.  I Myself am your wisdom and your strength, even as I am your joy and your peace.  I am your victory.  My word is power, because My word is spirit and truth.

Do not bear needless burdens.  They will only press upon your spirit and interfere with My movings.  Much remains to be accomplished.  Linger not over what appears to be an unfinished case.  Pass on.  My Spirit will continue to strive though you give no further thought.  In this way your mind shall be kept free and your path open, and it shall always be a new way.

Keep moving always, and from life to life I will accomplish My purpose.  And know that as I work, all things work together so that there is gathering strength, and there shall be a glorious consummation.  Praise God!

You are uniquely qualified for greatness.  YOU are positioned where you are for a reason.  If you are not in the right place, where should you be?  Where has life led you? What experiences have you had and what career or job are you in that has opened doors, strengths and ignited passion within you?

Take a look around where you live and where you work.  Look at your community, your schools, your geographic location, what needs are there that can be met, what natural resources are there at your disposal?  What holes need to be filled?  There are often so many opportunities surrounding us it is hard to pick just one.   A conversation could trigger an open door and reveal an opportunity that triggers excitement or further investigation.

If you’ve had one of those opportunities in the past what have you done with it?  I can tell you I’ve had many ideas.  Ideas or opportunities do not seem to be an issue for me.  The “issue” is following through.  I’ll investigate something and talk myself out of it, because I don’t have experience or expertise in an area, I don’t feel qualified.  Then one day a lightbulb went off – I don’t HAVE to be qualified.  Most people starting a business, or following a lead, or an opportunity weren’t qualified, they just started and learned as they went.

Another obstacle we need to overcome is all or nothing.  If I can’t do it this way, I can’t do it.  Start small.  If you want to own a restaurant, maybe you start with a lunch cart or you start with a small catering business.  Look for the opportunity to grow your experience.  As a recovering perfectionist – I want it to be a certain way, look a certain way, and have all the avenues figured out.  But that’s not how any business or new opportunity started.  Everything and everyone starts small and works toward it.  Do not be afraid of small beginnings.

You and only you can do this.  Not true.  That myth is one that holds many of us back from starting something.  I can’t do it with my current job so I’m not going to start this.  There are people you can partner with to get an idea or business started, but make sure you are not yoked wrong.  Know this person or pray first.  We are not to be yoked unequally.   Make sure if you are doing a business God’s way that you partner with someone who follows God or whom God has connected you with for this unique opportunity.  And by all means, whether partnering with a friend or family member, always have legal documentation done in the front end to avoid misunderstanding, miscommunication and to avoid strife.  Putting the vision down on paper, with the goals and expectations and legal obligations of both or all parties, keeps clarity and focus and emotion out of the business as much as possible.  This leaves time and energy to focus on building the business, not on dealing with distractions from emotional outbursts.

Money.  I don’t have it so I can’t pursue it.  Again, this obstacle is a cop-out.  And one I’ve used repeatedly.  I have an idea that gets discussed frequently between my husband and I, but because we can’t see past our own financial limitations we don’t pursue it.  This is the wrong mindset.  There are many ways to raise capital, but we’ve yet to go down that road.  Why?  It’s a new thought process – when you’ve been an employee your entire life, thinking outside that box is challenging and somewhat painful because it requires stretching in areas we’ve not stretched.  Yet, the end result is worth it if we can stop talking ourselves out of the idea.  Money is an obstacle if you see it as an obstacle.  Again, starting small, where you can start and bringing other’s in who can be a part of this can make what seems impossible, possible.

This is all good advice for anyone getting started.  And honestly, I’m an entrepreneur at heart who has timidly tested the waters here and there, but with no huge leap of faith to date.  My mindsets are changing because the economy has.  Unless we start businesses and look at new opportunities in this new reality where jobs are scarce, I think we’re just prolonging recession in our communities and lives.  I’m changing my mindset to new possibilities and pushing out the walls of my box to include new ideas, and less limitations.

How often we walk through life head up, eyes forward with an agenda always rushing to fulfill our own needs that dominate our thoughts.  We walk by those who need encouragement, help, food, comfort, jobs, shelter.  We drive by those seeking hand outs with a self protecting buffer of they’re probably scamming us and don’t really have need.   We drop a donation in a cup of our left over change at the gas station and pat ourselves on the back for helping someone.

I love to help and give to people, but I’m embarrassed to say at arms length.  Getting engaged with other’s who need help, especially those who are in desperate need often makes life messy.  I don’t like messy, I don’t like dealing with issues where my emotional state is altered because compassion at times causes torment.  As any new parent can attest, once you have a child any child in pain or suffering is hard to bear.  News stories on abuse of children would torment me for days.  I’ve since learned to keep torment at bay and focus on doing my part.  But again, at arms length.

But the more time I spend helping others, I begin to see that many of us have the same giving mentality.  I want the easy, quick service opportunity or donation to do something but to also feed my conscience that I’m really doing something.  There’s nothing wrong with that, because any engagement in helping others is great.  Any donation or volunteered time is great!  The problem is my holding back because its messy is costing me and the person I could help.  We shouldn’t by any means jump into other’s lives and get involved where we shouldn’t, but often a scene from the movie The Blind Side makes me think beyond my comfort zone.  The scene where the Touhy family is driving in the car, in the rain, and drives by “Big Mike”.  Mrs. Touhy tells her husband to stop the car.  She gets out and talks to Big Mike and brings him into their car and into their lives.  That is a painful scene for me because I question whether I would have done the same.  I sure would like to think so.

Sooo, I’m looking at opportunities that may come up in the future when my involvement is needed and that I may unwillingly succumb my “comfort level” to help someone else.  After all, God needs to work through us to meet the many needs here.  If we are not the light, who will be?

I’m passionate today about people who are cringing in fear.  Fear of the state of the economy, of where our great country is going, fear of lack, fear of joblessness, fear of homelessness, fear of weather, fear of anything and everything.

Fear is running rampant without any checks, wreaking havoc on so many.  It’s causing depression, hopelessness and suicide in our youth, in adults and shockingly in a nation (U.S. – since I can only speak to this nation) that is blessed with more money, more possessions and more opportunities than most nations.

Fear is not easy to shut off or shut out.  Watch the morning news and you’ll get your daily dose of fear to consume with your morning coffee. Watch the weather channel and you could be in the path of a brewing storm or tornado.  Watch some of the more popular shows on television as they try to outdo one another with the most shocking, demented story lines of serial killers and perverted treatment of humans that could give you nightmares for a month.

Why do we do it? Why do we watch this stuff everyday and listen to it on talk shows and grow more depressed with the state of the world? For entertainment?  Depression, loneliness and hopelessness aren’t my idea of entertainment.

Honestly, it’s pretty easy to remedy most of our fear.  Stop watching the news.  I don’t watch it and I’m not missing any critical, life saving information to date.  I can get the top stories off MSN or yahoo with a sentence and know if I need to read on.  Stop listening to talk radio.  I don’t care which side you’re loyal to, both of them breed strife and anger and I don’t need it or want it.  We don’t need more division, we need more unity.

Stop watching shows that create fear and anxiety.  I can’t understand why people are addicted to horror movies or half the shows on TV that involve forensics, cops and murder.  I had a cousin who was obsessed with horror movies and watched them constantly.  He slowly turned from a humorous, fun guy to a dark, fear ridden, disturbed man who wouldn’t come out of his room except at night on occasion.  He was tormented and took his life a couple years ago. If you allow yourself to dwell and meditate on what is wrong in the world you will sink into a deep, dark hole that will get harder to climb out of.

Music has tremendous power to lift us up, energize, motivate and also tear us down, create anger, sexual excitement and depression. People scoff at the power of music and its effect on us and our youth, yet anyone can test the effect music has easily.  Listen to music with suicidal overtones for a week and see what kind of thoughts you have and what your emotional state is.  Listen to about any top 40 music today and see if your thoughts wander toward sex.  Now if you’re a 40 year old woman you may need two weeks of exposure to that music for that to happen – HA! just kidding.  If you’re a teen with surging hormones sexual stimulation is the last thing you need.

So removing fear is almost entirely up to you.  Change what you watch, change what you listen to, change what you think about and change your words.  Stop saying I’m afraid of this…I’m so scared that.

Finally, fear can’t reside where faith resides.  It comes back to where your trust lies.  If you trust yourself, then YOU are your provider, YOU are your own protection, YOU are your only source for everything you need in this world.  That, now that I think about it, surely would cause me depression and anxiety.

I choose not to live in fear and I’m annoying about it.  I have trained my mind to stay in control and not jump to the first, worst, bad, thought or conclusion when a circumstance comes up outside of my control.  Not that I started here, no, like everyone, I dealt with debilitating thoughts of fear, but as I learned to know God, my trust in Him increased.  Not that fear doesn’t rear its ugly head up to me on occasion, it does, I just recognize it for what it is now.

Just as in any relationship you have.  I wouldn’t go into business with a stranger, because it requires trust.  If I don’t trust them, then I will fear the type of decisions they make that will impact me.  So it is with life.  I realize there are many belief systems out there that people find solace with, I choose God.  He’s much easier to trust my life and decisions to rather than myself.  But I didn’t always trust God, I grew to trust God as I built my relationship with Him like any other, through life events, by reading His word and doing what it says. Because I don’t know everything, I trust the One Who does and I must say I thoroughly enjoy my life and the peace that I can only explain with – I trust God.

I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
- Edward Everett Hale

I’m overwhelmed and it’s my fault.  I love the above quote and yet it creates a pressure to live up to an expectation that I alone have created in my mind as what it means to do something.  Yet I can never seem to do enough and find myself constantly pushing toward this.  Once again I’m caught in the doing “everything” trap.  Getting involved is not my issue, getting over involved that’s my issue. There are so many worthy causes, so many people to help.  For me it sometimes breeds anxiety and hopelessness.  That is the time, when I stop my thoughts.  Our job is not to help everyone, or to be a part of every good work and worthy cause.  Our job is to help that one person, or fulfill that one need that God brings across our path that day.  He doesn’t hold us to an expectation to do more than we can, but to do what we can, where we are.  I have to remind myself of that today.

I also need to go to God and see what His will is and not get involved where I “think” He wants me.  I am in a position where once again, like a bull, I charged forward to join a variety of causes because they were in line with what I know I’m supposed to do.  And now what I’m supposed to do sits on the back burner lacking attention because my time is spread to thin.  I am only effective when focused, peaceful and driven.  I am not effective when running to and fro, anxious and scattered because the plate is too full.

In this time and age we must carefully guard our peace, carefully guard those things that MUST have our attention and remove what isn’t a MUST.  With the best intentions we allow “good”, worthy distractions to draw us away from the very thing we’re intended to do and flourish at.  This week, I take account of what I’ve put on my plate and pray, and find what has to go and what will stay.  Then I will let some people down by letting them know I can’t be all things at this time and I have to stick with the MUST’s.  And I’m OK with that. My peace and my families peace is at stake, my God given purpose is at stake.

Today, take account of where you are.  If your weekends and weeknights are a blur of activity that is causing stress, then something has to give.  We all have seasons where we will have more than we can do and that’s understandable at times, however, some of us seem to have to learn the same lesson over and over.  Just when I thought I had that one nailed, I overextended myself AGAIN. However, I recognized it quicker this time, I saw the signs this time and I know what to do this time.  I’m quicker to respond and I take joy in lightening my load to spend focused, productive time to make a difference in a few things.